Everything About You
by Moonchild10
Summary: Light loathes absolutely everything about the detective... so how in the world could he possibly love him? LxLight


**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I seriously doubt I ever will.**

**This was written for Homuxeiku-loff at Kori Hime's new meme 8D It's based on the song "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. **

**Gah, I should be working on my Princess Princess fic at the moment :bites nails:**

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As was the routine for his nights, Light was jarred from his thin sleep simply by the enormity of the dream that shook him. He wrestled his way out of the tangle of blankets, the handcuffs pulling painfully on his wrist as he moved. 

That dream followed him constantly through the nights he and L spent nestled together in that too-small bed. And there L was before him, body curved, eyes closed, thumb hovering near his mouth on the off chance he might awaken and need to chew it. He always looked so peaceful when he slept… almost _cute_, even, with an air of impossible innocence about him that was almost childlike, suspended somewhere between the dreamlike reality they shared and the dreams that filled his head in sleep. He was the world's top three detectives, he was brilliant and efficient and even, when necessary, caring. 

And Light hated him. 

It wasn't really something he could explain. It was something that loomed over him like a cloud he couldn't escape. And the dream didn't help either… the dream of killing him. The way he killed him was different every time, like a story that constantly changed its ending. The only thing about the dream that was consistent was the ending… how L would lie there, collapsed in Light's arms, and look up at him with those accusing eyes like he _knew_, though Light wasn't really sure _what_ he knew. And then there was the part where his eyes closed slowly, too slowly, and it was too late for Light to do anything to save him. It was an insufferable way to awaken, eyes wide and heart pounding at the horror (and exhilaration?) at the thought of killing L.

"_Dreaming about killing him doesn't make me Kira_," he reasoned with himself night after night as he lay awake, still sweating from the intensity of the scene that played out in his dreams. _"It's just my way of relieving my frustrations at him." _ but he wasn't entirely sure of this, and it was unspeakable the things he accused himself of when he was half asleep but his brain was still racing. He couldn't be Kira… there was absolutely no way he could be Kira, not when doing something so monumentally immoral would definitely mark him in a way that would be irreversible. Light Yagami was not an evil person. 

It did seem evil to him at times, though, the way he could lay beside L and let the hatred, the unexplainable hatred, rush over him in molten waves, dwelling on the tense sense of violence the young detective awakened inside of him. 

"Yagami-kun…" L's voice jarred Light back into reality, and he found himself staring across the gap between them with absolute loathing, his caramel-colored eyes narrowing as he found L's dark chocolate ones boring into him, questioning him, suspecting him. 

"What is it?"

"You seem troubled," and there it was… that damn thumb in his mouth again. Light gritted his teeth. That habit, those eyes, that face. He hated everything about the older man whose jet-black hair hung into his eyes as he stared back at him with absolute concern. "Is something bothering you?" 

But that tone was mocking in its own way… L's tone was always mocking, and Light glared pointedly at him, feeling irritating and detestation burning his chest as though emotions really could take the form of flames… as if emotions really could kill. 

"No," he snapped, far ruder than he should have been. The concern left L's face and was replaced by a look of complete apathy; his normal expression. It was so much easier not to care how awful it was to hate his ally when that look was in place, when those dark eyes were telling him he loathed Light just as much as Light loathed him. Yes, loathing between the two was nothing two. It was a kind of bitter rivalry, a grudging agreement made without words that they would work together on the case but never actually enjoy each other's company underneath all the face civility and polite banter in front of other people.

"_He didn't have to be so rude," _L thought, keeping his expression blank as he stared at the chestnut-haired boy. Light's eyes were tired from lack of sleep (or less than restful sleep, judging by the way he'd been tossing and turning a few minutes ago), lacking their usual observant sharpness. It was easier to deal with him when he was this way, soft and doe-eyed rather than attentive and calculating. He tapped his lip slightly as he surveyed the teenager before him. 

Light, L could readily admit, was decadently attractive. He was brilliant, intuitive, and a worthy colleague and even opponent. He had a rather convenient habit of knowing exactly what L was thinking so he never had to explain himself. And of course, he even treated L civilly most of the time, unless they both suffered a sudden burst of violence and started fighting. 

And yet L despised him. 

He couldn't really explain why… the fact that someone had provoked such extreme and undeniable dislike in him was a feat in itself. But there was just something about the boy that invoked fits of rage at the most extreme of times… something about him that made L find his very presence to be unbearably irritating… like an itch he couldn't reach. And the frequent glares that Light gave him didn't help either. They were a catalyst for L's moments of complete detestation, times when he could barely think or breathe because of that unbearable Light-kun and his smugness and his irritation and the way he always scolded L like he was a _child_. He was the world's top three detectives. He was not a child. 

Light could barely stand the sight of the detective staring at him as though it was perfectly alright. He couldn't fathom why in the world L could be so cocky, so rude, so utterly _insufferable_, and still expect to be treating in a civil manner. The very thought made him shoot L a new glare, and he was struck with the sudden impulse to strike him. And there it was, that same desire in L's eyes, and both swung their violence forward at the same time. Light's fist connected hard with L's face at the exact same moment that L's bony foot collided with Light's stomach. 

As they both lay in silence, hating and glaring and seething, they reached for each other again. But instead, this time it was L clasping his pale hands around the front of Light's shirt. It was Light slipping his arms around L, far too tender for the disgust that raged through him. It was their warm foreheads resting against each other and their eyes softening as they met and simply stared. It was strange warmth and unexplainable gentleness that happened nearly every night. 

"_How can it be possible to hold him this way when I wanted to hurt him a second ago?" _Light wondered as he cradled the detective's too-thin body in his arms, as L's hands grabbed handfulls of chestnut hair and pulled him into the realm of desperate kisses, the world of violence left behind. _"How can it even be possible?" _it was pure agony that made him smile, made him feel far too good. That tongue that brushed his, the arms that clutched him desperately. Warm, gentle, hypocritical. Teeth that nipped at his lips, a warm chest that Light's fingers raked across, thin hips that bucked against his and made him moan. It was all wrong… the desperate way they kissed each other was far too parallel to the desperate way they loathed each other. _"Why, why why?"_

The passionate, breathless sex was wrong too. L's soft whimpers against his ear, the breathy way he moaned Light's name and the way his bitten fingernails dug deep into his back. It was all too wrong, too much for lovers, and they should not be allowed to have a part in this tender, affectionate world, Light thought as he spent himself inside of the man he should be hating and collapsed into his warm arms. A shower of delicate kisses covered L's face, L's fingers brushed sweetly against his cheeks and eyelids. Tenderness and adoration and complete bliss, as they curled into each others arms, as they fell again into sleep wrapped around each other with L's low voice murmuring three small words into Light's ear before he was lost in sleep. Light kissed his forehead and curiously explored the softness of his lover's sweaty back as he waited for sleep and for his damnable dreams to once more take him away. He watched L's peaceful face in the dimness until he bit his lip and had to shake away a wave of tears that threatened to take him. 

"_I hate everything about you… why do I love you?" _

**Fini. **

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**Kori Hime's new song lyric meme: **http(COLON)(SLASH)(SLASH)shiny-glor-chan(DOT)livejournal(DOT)com(SLASH)94062 … just replace the things in parenthesis with the correct symbols. Join the party, feel the love.


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